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‘Idea ball’, ‘Upamechanic’, ‘Mo Santa’ and other hilarious banter names for football players



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In a stroll down the banter side of football, we take a look at the 10 most hilarious banter names for some of the most famous players in the world.

Football is no doubt a serious business but with some elements of unseriousness in the form of fan-driven banter.

A major part of that are the alternative names given to the players by fans based on varying factors such as their traits, style of play, actions etc.

Those banter names range from clever to basic and in some cases downright offensive but 100% hilarious and here are 10 of the best ones in no particular order.

We all remember that older baller in the local park that always has an ‘idea’ of what he wants to do, rides on technical ability but has pretty much nothing else in terms of football abilities…well that’s how football fans on Twitter seem to perceive Spanish midfielder, Thiago Alcantara.

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Liverpool's Spanish midfielder Thiago Alcantara
Liverpool’s Spanish midfielder Thiago Alcantara

French centre-back Dayot Upamecano joined Bayern Munich as a highly-rated player for €42.5 million in the summer of 2021 but has been underwhelming so far, earning himself the banter name, Upamechanic.

Dayot Upamecano has not hit the expected heights at Bayern Munich so far
Dayot Upamecano has not hit the expected heights at Bayern Munich so far

The exception on this list, Mohamed Salah’s banter name is not negative, rather just a bit of light-hearted fun about the time the Egyptian forward got flak for celebrating christmas, hence… Mo Santa.

Mohamed Salah celebrates Christmas Benchwarmers
Mohamed Salah celebrates Christmas Benchwarmers

Not even coaches are exempted from football banter as German tactician Thomas Tuchel has been referred to rather offensively as ‘Tucheliban’ in reference to his defense-oriented set up at Chelsea.

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Chelsea boss Thomas Tuchel AFP
Chelsea boss Thomas Tuchel AFP

Jonjo Shelvey has been called many things because of his looks, Voldemort being the most obvious comparison but the funniest and most cleverly of his aliases is Chemotherapy Kroos.

 

Jonjo Shelvey AFP
Jonjo Shelvey AFP

The name is an admittedly cruel nod to Shelvey’s appearance in relation to his football abilities as a low budget Toni Kroos.

Mohamed El Neny is called Pyramid Pirlo because of his Egyptian nationality and similarities in his game to the legendary Italian midfielder, Andrea Pirlo.

The name is an admittedly cruel nod to Shelvey’s appearance in relation to his football abilities as a low budget Toni Kroos.  Pyramid Pirlo - Mohamed El Neny Mohamed El Neny is called Pyramid Pirlo because of his Egyptian nationality and similarities in his game to the legendary Italian midfielder, Andrea Pirlo.
The name is an admittedly cruel nod to Shelvey’s appearance in relation to his football abilities as a low budget Toni Kroos.
Pyramid Pirlo – Mohamed El Neny
Mohamed El Neny is called Pyramid Pirlo because of his Egyptian nationality and similarities in his game to the legendary Italian midfielder, Andrea Pirlo.




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